Tag Archives: sweden

The vipassana festival (Part 1 of 3)

A vipassana retreat is a ten days non-stop festival with music, sex, interesting stories, long-forgotten memories, ecstasy and bliss, fear and loathing, make your pick – all going inside your head. This was my third retreat and second Goenka (first, second). Cannot say that this thing gets easier with experience. Intense as always, but with a different flavour. As far as practicalities are concerned, it was exactly the same as the last time. The only change I’ve noticed was breakfast coffee in the spite of the “no intoxicant” precept. I actually asked the assistant teacher about this inconsistency and the reply was that coffee is no intoxicant, as it does not change one’s state of mind. “What about tobacco then?” “It is not an intoxicant as well”. Different retreats do indeed have their own peculiarities.

I pondered my misery on the first day over the breakfast: “What am I doing here? Same thing all over again and no novelty to look forward into.” Ten days of Goenka’s bad singing, rituals and overall cult tendencies were a bit too much for me. Then again the teaching is sound and the time spent meditating is never wasted. What is time if not an illusion? I realised that in no time it would be the tenth day, I would have my mysli with fresh fruits and yoghurt and a cup of rooibos. Knowing that in two hours Noble Silence would be over and there would be the whole day ahead full of fun, excitement, noble and not-so-noble chattering. And so it happened.

The first three days were rather uneventful. Grumpy mornings filled with hunger and horny thoughts and struggling with Goenka’s annoying manner of speaking. “Goenka sounds like an airplane about to take off”, I wrote in my diary on the third day. In a true rebel without a cause fashion I kept my diary throughout the course against the rules. The intentions were right, though, and this is what matters the most. Right away I got an important insight – about the weather in Sweden at this time of the year. It rained a lot and wind blew almost constantly. Not a good weather for cycling, but on the other hand it was a good stimulus to meditate. There was no point in staying outside and I could not stand the dorm, so the only option was to sit in the meditation hall. Generally speaking there is no use to try to escape meditation in such an environment, as there is nothing else to do there anyway. The only entertainment options are meals and evening discourses and those are at predefined times. Either you avoid meditation and feel very sorry for yourself or sit and feel less miserable. After all it is your choice to be there and the meditation is the main reason why you are there. Mind is a cunning beast, though, creating most subtle traps, so convincing yourself to sit and observe your breathe again and again is not always the easiest task.

Part 2 | Part 3

The joys of travelling

Solo cycling is a lone affair. I’ve been on my own most of the time. Most of the covesrations I’ve had have been with cashiers in supermarkets.
“Hello! How are you?”
“I’m fine, thank you”
“Is there anything to do/see here?”
“Not really. It is a very small place”

Not much of a profound conversation really.

When I left home, it was sunny and hot. In Sweden I expected even warmer weather and beautiful blonde bikini girls, but found neither. Cold and windy. I had hesitated to bring a fleece pullover with me, but luckily I did. I ended up using it along with woollen socks almost all the time. Space blanket was intended for emergencies, but I’ve been using it every night. Two first nights spent in the forest with extremely early wake ups due the coldness and was almost ready to go back home.

So this is how I felt, when I arrived to LyckebygÃ¥rden for vipassana: cold, aloof and sleep deprived. Ironically all this misery prepared myself for what was about to come. At least for the time being I had a warm bed and a hot shower and I didn’t have to cycle anywhere. Suddenly the prospect of ten days sitting did not seem so bad.

Initial impressions: Stockholm – Ödeshög

Stockholm is a majestic city. Some day I should spend more time there. This time though I felt out of place among fashion-conscious middle-class with my bike, all the gear and the back-pack attached to the carrier. Turkish lembas (falafel with hummus) for breakfast and I was on the road.

“It is not the distance, but the journey” said an Asics ad spotted in Stockholm, but I had to make it to Ödeshög in three days. Distance mattered. 330km in total, spread over three days. Could have done it in about 280km, but the path is not always straight. Initially I religiously tried following marked cycling paths, but after going in circles and getting lost, I realised that a bold red line on the map does not necessarily exist in the wild. Sometimes paths are clearly marked and separated from the traffic, sometimes they are not. Having said that generally cycling infrastructure in Sweden is superb, especially in cities. Puts Helsinki to shame really. Overall infrastructure is also better, clearly 200 Years of Peace doing its magic. There’s a sense of aesthetics in the air – everything is nice, tidy and neat. Every house looks like a real estate commercial. Reminded me of Switzerland very much. Countryside is mostly farms, picturesque churches, crop and golf fields, as if Swedes en masse do not do anything else than growing food, praing and playing golf.

The first place I properly visited (read, went to a supermarket there) was Trosa, dubbed by the locals as the “the world’s end”. Quite a big word for such a small place, the supermarket is the only attraction there. Nyköping is a nice little town with a touch of urbanisation. There is the main walking street with some boutiques and cafes, which make you almost forget that you are in the midst of the countryside. Nörrköping was next on the agenda. Bigger and somewhat exciting. It even has trams and the brutalist city library. Probably a nice place to live in, but not something you go to on a weekend. Linköping was more of the same. Neat and nice. Nothing to see here, move along.

Fear and Loathing in Ödeshög

The first time I heard about vipassana retreats was last year, one year later the right time finally came and I went to one. Vipassana is a form of buddhist insight meditation. The technique is taught by S.R. Goenka under the hood of Vipassana Research Institute. VRI is a large organization, responsible for organizing hundreds of courses in different countries each year. Courses are free (including lodging and food), but you are allowed to make donation only after you complete the course. The basic course lasts ten days, plus two extra days reserved for arrival and departure. Over this period you are completely isolated from outside world, as well as other participants. No talking, no eye or physical contact, no mobile phones, no internet, no music, no books or writings, basically no entertainment of any kind. You are essentially left alone with your thoughts and there is nothing to distract you from them, like it or not. Sounds like fun, sign me in!

The retreat is located near Ödeshög in Western Sweden, 250km from Stockholm. The course-grounds are rather countryside: potato fields as far as eye can see, a lonely road and a few wind turbines on the horizon. Lovely. The organization of the course was top-notch and it really showed that they have got a lot of experience in organizing this tip of thing. There were no major hiccups I could notice and they always managed to stick to the daily schedule. The food was a pleasant surprise, as I was expecting no-thrills Rainbow Gathering type food, but we got porridge, müsli, cooked dry fruits for breakfast and versatile veggy meal completed with a dessert for a lunch. The supper offered just tea, milk and two fruits for new students and hot lemon water for old students. So the last real meal was around 11AM, but the only time I felt hungry was for the two hours after waking up before the breakfast. On a positive side a breakfast bell was something I really really looked forward into. Oh the joy of getting food after a 19 hours mini-fast. It puts a new meaning into the word “break-fast”. The schedule is pretty much the same every day: wake-up at 4AM, two hours of meditation, breakfast at 6.30AM, rest, three hours of meditation, lunch at 11AM, rest, three hours of meditation, evening tea at 5PM, rest, two hours of meditation, discourse at 7PM, half an hour of meditation and lights out at 10PM. Evening discourse addresses the issues of the day and provides some background information on Buddhism postulates. The discourses are filled with numerous jokes, anecdotes and Goenka’s charm (protip: avoid your native language discourses and go straight for the original English one) – a pleasant break from the otherwise monotonous day program. We actually laughed at some of Goenka’s jokes, I must admin the man has got the charisma and style. Despite the same program every day, each day was unique for me with its own up and down-sides. Same same, but different. The rigorous schedule makes sure that you have no time to get bored, as long as you are serious about your meditation practice. In fact, at times I felt I had not enough time to do all the free time activities, such a short walk in the forest (the length of the path is 155m), a nap, stretching, laundry and that’s about it as far as free time activities go. The observance of rules was not really enforced, so it is really up to you whether you follow the rules or not. Then again, you are there by your choice, so why break the rules that are there for your own benefit?

It was the most intense and useful things I have ever done. A mental marathon of ever-increasing intensity lasting for ten days and a huge reward waiting for you once you reach your goal. Thinking of all the progress I made during in just ten days makes me want to participate in another course right away. First few days were rather uneventful, lots of physical pain caused by constant sitting, but nothing dramatic. My mind was the sole form of conventional entertainment, including telling stories and jokes, showing porn and playing music to me. All intensified in a high-definition and long-play format. I had very little mental pain caused by the bored mind, as I am more or less accustomed to sitting. But the physical pain was a different beast. My prior experience was no help and my whole body ached for the first few days. It took me days only to find a right combination of sitting cushions and a sustainable sitting position. Once one-hour no-position-change sittings started, the pain came back with vengeance and became almost unbearable. However, in a few days the pain magically dissolved and turned into a rather pleasant feeling. Things started getting really weird for me on the fifth day and each new day brought more and more weirdness. Energy sensations flowing through the body; all kinds of weird a-ha moments; discovering that the body has its own wisdom; being unsure whether I should be scared or happy and so on. On the last three days things turned rather psychedelic with everything glowing around me, a super-energetic feeling, continuous meditation mode, all kinds of unfamiliar, sometimes scary sensations and crystal clear mind. I had read about such experiences, but it is easy to dismiss these reports as crackpot science. Actually having this kind of experience happing to you is a whole different matter.

All in all, it was a smooth ride for me with tons of useful observations and insights. A++, WOULD DO AGAIN. Now why would you go through to such a dramatic thing? First, you will get an experience unlike anything else. Achieving meditation states like this with nothing, but sitting and observing your mind is truly marvelous. Secondly, such an experience is useful to anyone and will change you for the better, no matter what your background is. Plus judging by what other experiences other people went through (e.g. grown-up men and women crying), such a course would do more good than years of psychotherapy.

www.dhamma.org

Some practical tips:

  • If you decide to go, DO NOT QUIT NO MATTER WHAT. Your mind will make up all kinds of conspiracy theories and catastrophe scenarios, you will most likely become sick, you will find numerous reasons why you should quit, but do not do it. I promise when the course ends you will be very grateful that you did not quit.
  • Do not try to beat the system. If it is meditation time, then meditate. There is nothing to do there anyway and you’ll get distracted by cheating attempts.
  • Take care of your body. Take a nap when you feel to e.g. during breakfast and lunch rest times, stretch and take care of personal hygiene.
  • A pair of earplugs is a good idea.
  • Your body will most likely ache from constant sitting. You have to ride it out. If you have own sitting cushion, bring it with you. It will minimize the discomfort.
  • Put yourself into the humble mode, it will tremendously ease up your stay there.
  • Avoid lying meditation in the first few days, as you will fall asleep anyway. 🙂
  • It is a good idea to reserve a few days after the retreat is over to reflect over the experience.
  • Anicca anicca anicca