Category Archives: Epic Journey 3

The vipassana festival (Part 2 of 3)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

On the fourth day a jhana manifested itself for the first time. Jhanas are pleasurable (sometimes very) mental states reached through intense concentration. Completely natural and not banned by the government too. The same day was marked with the start of sittings of strong determination, where you are not supposed to change a posture or open eyes for one hour. Pain from sitting was not really a problem, as I knew the suffering would go away anyway. I felt very sorry for a chap, who had asked an assistant teacher about the sitting pain the day before and had got the answer “Just change a posture”. Subtle form of humour maybe? Towards the end of the retreat I got so cocky that sat in a posture that hurt straight from the beginning not bothering to fix it. Familiar feelings lost their familiarity and became just sensations. From the fifth day on things started getting into an uncharted territory marked with strong and solid meditation sessions with no movement or breaks. A urge to slouch the back is just another sensation after all and thus can be safely observed without a reaction. Blissful meditation sessions were followed by periods of intense fear and infinite sadness just like that. Mind changes so quick. Nothing is permanent, even if the mind tries to make it so. Not even that incredible pain in the left leg.

At some point I developed enough energy to practice lying meditation and not to fall asleep. Oh the pleasure of staying two extra hours meditating in the warm bed in the mornings followed by a walk in the forest and a breakfast. The need for sleep diminished to the point I had problems getting asleep towards the end of the course. Why sleep after all, when you can meditate? The meditative jhana state became the baseline. The line between sitting sessions and breaks blurred. On the ninth day the mind was quietened to the point of no mind. “I” (who is this I anyway?) knew what to do at each moment, no mental processes needed. The function of the mind was reduced to the silent observer. Fascinating and scary at the same time.

On the last day the silence ended and fun and excitement began. So many things to share with other people, so many stories to tell. It is fascinating to see people of all ages and all backgrounds. Wandering travellers, a doctor from Oslo, a school teacher from Luxembourg, a musician from Togo, a company executive leading a stressful life, an accountant from Holland and so on. There is no vipassana type people. It is like one of those travel destinations (read Hat Yuan), where you can expect meet anyone. Social status or background does not matter here.

1000

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1000km broken today somewhere between Falkenberg and Halmstad.

Some stats
Average speed: ~20km/h. Dropped to 17-18km/h, once I got to Western Sweden with all that wind.
Max speed: 52km/h, downhill somewhere in Gränna
Average daily distance: 100-120km

The vipassana festival (Part 1 of 3)

A vipassana retreat is a ten days non-stop festival with music, sex, interesting stories, long-forgotten memories, ecstasy and bliss, fear and loathing, make your pick – all going inside your head. This was my third retreat and second Goenka (first, second). Cannot say that this thing gets easier with experience. Intense as always, but with a different flavour. As far as practicalities are concerned, it was exactly the same as the last time. The only change I’ve noticed was breakfast coffee in the spite of the “no intoxicant” precept. I actually asked the assistant teacher about this inconsistency and the reply was that coffee is no intoxicant, as it does not change one’s state of mind. “What about tobacco then?” “It is not an intoxicant as well”. Different retreats do indeed have their own peculiarities.

I pondered my misery on the first day over the breakfast: “What am I doing here? Same thing all over again and no novelty to look forward into.” Ten days of Goenka’s bad singing, rituals and overall cult tendencies were a bit too much for me. Then again the teaching is sound and the time spent meditating is never wasted. What is time if not an illusion? I realised that in no time it would be the tenth day, I would have my mysli with fresh fruits and yoghurt and a cup of rooibos. Knowing that in two hours Noble Silence would be over and there would be the whole day ahead full of fun, excitement, noble and not-so-noble chattering. And so it happened.

The first three days were rather uneventful. Grumpy mornings filled with hunger and horny thoughts and struggling with Goenka’s annoying manner of speaking. “Goenka sounds like an airplane about to take off”, I wrote in my diary on the third day. In a true rebel without a cause fashion I kept my diary throughout the course against the rules. The intentions were right, though, and this is what matters the most. Right away I got an important insight – about the weather in Sweden at this time of the year. It rained a lot and wind blew almost constantly. Not a good weather for cycling, but on the other hand it was a good stimulus to meditate. There was no point in staying outside and I could not stand the dorm, so the only option was to sit in the meditation hall. Generally speaking there is no use to try to escape meditation in such an environment, as there is nothing else to do there anyway. The only entertainment options are meals and evening discourses and those are at predefined times. Either you avoid meditation and feel very sorry for yourself or sit and feel less miserable. After all it is your choice to be there and the meditation is the main reason why you are there. Mind is a cunning beast, though, creating most subtle traps, so convincing yourself to sit and observe your breathe again and again is not always the easiest task.

Part 2 | Part 3

The joys of travelling

Solo cycling is a lone affair. I’ve been on my own most of the time. Most of the covesrations I’ve had have been with cashiers in supermarkets.
“Hello! How are you?”
“I’m fine, thank you”
“Is there anything to do/see here?”
“Not really. It is a very small place”

Not much of a profound conversation really.

When I left home, it was sunny and hot. In Sweden I expected even warmer weather and beautiful blonde bikini girls, but found neither. Cold and windy. I had hesitated to bring a fleece pullover with me, but luckily I did. I ended up using it along with woollen socks almost all the time. Space blanket was intended for emergencies, but I’ve been using it every night. Two first nights spent in the forest with extremely early wake ups due the coldness and was almost ready to go back home.

So this is how I felt, when I arrived to LyckebygÃ¥rden for vipassana: cold, aloof and sleep deprived. Ironically all this misery prepared myself for what was about to come. At least for the time being I had a warm bed and a hot shower and I didn’t have to cycle anywhere. Suddenly the prospect of ten days sitting did not seem so bad.

Initial impressions: Stockholm – Ödeshög

Stockholm is a majestic city. Some day I should spend more time there. This time though I felt out of place among fashion-conscious middle-class with my bike, all the gear and the back-pack attached to the carrier. Turkish lembas (falafel with hummus) for breakfast and I was on the road.

“It is not the distance, but the journey” said an Asics ad spotted in Stockholm, but I had to make it to Ödeshög in three days. Distance mattered. 330km in total, spread over three days. Could have done it in about 280km, but the path is not always straight. Initially I religiously tried following marked cycling paths, but after going in circles and getting lost, I realised that a bold red line on the map does not necessarily exist in the wild. Sometimes paths are clearly marked and separated from the traffic, sometimes they are not. Having said that generally cycling infrastructure in Sweden is superb, especially in cities. Puts Helsinki to shame really. Overall infrastructure is also better, clearly 200 Years of Peace doing its magic. There’s a sense of aesthetics in the air – everything is nice, tidy and neat. Every house looks like a real estate commercial. Reminded me of Switzerland very much. Countryside is mostly farms, picturesque churches, crop and golf fields, as if Swedes en masse do not do anything else than growing food, praing and playing golf.

The first place I properly visited (read, went to a supermarket there) was Trosa, dubbed by the locals as the “the world’s end”. Quite a big word for such a small place, the supermarket is the only attraction there. Nyköping is a nice little town with a touch of urbanisation. There is the main walking street with some boutiques and cafes, which make you almost forget that you are in the midst of the countryside. Nörrköping was next on the agenda. Bigger and somewhat exciting. It even has trams and the brutalist city library. Probably a nice place to live in, but not something you go to on a weekend. Linköping was more of the same. Neat and nice. Nothing to see here, move along.